by Penny Dablin

Our minds are incapable of not answering questions. What this means is that we need to be careful how we ask ourselves (and each other) questions.

Your mind cannot not answer a question even if the answer is “I don’t know” or “I won’t tell you”. When asked a question your mind will automatically start seeking through your memories for the answer and evidence to support the answer.

What colour is your front door? Can you drive? Didn’t you find the answers to those questions already formed in your mind almost before you’d finished reading the question?

Imagine a child being asked “Why are you so stupid?” The child’s brain will work hard to come up with the answer to the question – not to give a cheeky retort but to satisfy its need to answer a question. And the child collects more and more evidence as to why they are stupid.

Imagine asking instead, “What could be a better way to do that?” or “What do you need to do in order to achieve the right outcome?” The child’s brain will work just as hard to come up with answers to these questions and the answers will move the situation forward in a positive way.

What sort of questions do you ask yourself? Are your questions supporting and empowering you or are they undermining you?

For example, if I ask myself: “Why do I never have time to do what I want to do?” then my mind will pile on the reasons and the result will be that I will feel even more time pressured than before. If I turn the question round and ask “Why do I always have plenty of time to accomplish everything I want to do?” then my mind will supply the answers to that question – and my time management will improve dramatically!

Use the questions you ask yourself to move you forward rather than hold you back. Asking “What am I doing wrong?” is unlikely to create the best moving forward answers. Try rephrasing the question: “What can I do to make it work?” Your mind will then start to find answers that focus on what will work. Answers that will move you forward.

So, what questions can I leave you with?

What can you do to help you find a balance between work and home and family commitments?

What can you do to get everything done when it needs to be done?

What can you do to get past any blocks in your life?

How can you get more out of your life?

The answers may include Life Coaching and, if so, then do get in touch!.