by Penny Dablin

Communication means much more than just talking to other people, although that is vital. It is also our body language, how we stand, how we look at others, whether we can hold their eye or look away. All of these things communicate a great deal more than just our words. Even on the telephone the subtleties of your tone of voice will convey additional meaning to your listener – and they can tell if you are smiling or scowling!

All this means that we need to be aware of the whole message that we are communicating, not just the words we say and what we think we mean. Someone once said “what you’re doing is speaking so loudly I can’t hear a word you’re saying”. And we all know what they meant.

But what about the other communication that we all indulge in every day? What we say to ourselves?

Are you a supportive, kind friend to yourself? Or are you more critical and unkind than even your worst enemies? Do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes or do you beat yourself up, often viciously, inside your own head? Do you talk to yourself with hate and disgust? Or are you gentle and loving towards yourself.

My suggestion for this month is that you start to notice the thousands of messages that you give to yourself every single day. Notice the tone of voice you use – and speak more kindly. Notice the words you use – and build yourself up rather than tear yourself down. Notice the emotion and feeling in the words you use – and determine to give yourself love rather than hate.

For it is the communication that we have with ourselves that determines the sort of communication we will have with other people. If we hate ourselves, how can we show forth love to others? Even if we say the right words, our non-verbal communication will give out opposite messages.

So I would encourage you this month to love yourself, unconditionally. And every time you catch yourself communicating anything other than love to yourself…

STOP!

Think!

How would you express that message if you were speaking to a beloved? Speak to yourself with even more love than you would to that person.

Within just a few days of really noticing and changing your communication with yourself you will start to be much happier. Other people will notice and feel the love that now flows through you. People will want to be around you and will seek you out. And your life will start to really work for you.